Six Inexpensive Ways to Reconnect with Your Partner This Valentine’s Day
Written by Kirsten Nataren Crus, MA
This Valentine’s Day, think flowers, chocolates, and cards. Rather than sticking to these typical gifts, make it your goal to reconnect with your partner on a deeper level—explore their inner world, rediscover shared passions, and enjoy each other’s company in a more meaningful way. Here are five thoughtful and inexpensive ideas to help you truly connect with your partner this Valentine’s Day.
1. Write a Love Letter to Your Partner
Instead of opting for a pre-made card, take the time to write a heartfelt love letter to your partner. This personal touch shows thoughtfulness and intention. In your letter, consider including:
A Favorite Memory: Recall a special moment you both shared that always brings a smile to your face.
Why You Fell in Love: Reflect on what first attracted you to them and what made you fall in love.
Your Favorite Thing About Them: Highlight a quality or trait you cherish most about your partner.
Something You’re Looking Forward to: Share a future experience you’re excited to have together this year, whether it’s a trip, a milestone, or a shared goal.
A Goal or Hope for the Future: Let your partner know what you hope for in the coming year—whether it’s more time together, growing closer together as a couple, or a shared project.
2. Play a Game Together
Playing a game together is a great way to connect and enjoy some time together. The key is to choose something that both of you enjoy and that encourages conversation. If you tend to get a little too competitive, opt for a more relaxed and fun game, so the focus stays on each other rather than on winning. Laughter and shared experiences while playing can deepen your connection and remind you of the simple joy in spending time together. Make sure to intentionally turn off phones and set aside any other distractions to really focus on the moment together.
3. Work on Building Love Maps
Love maps refer to understanding each other’s inner world—knowing our partner’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and experiences. In long-term relationships, people naturally change and grow over time, and it’s important to check in with each other to see where you each may have changed. This Valentine’s Day, take some time to ask each other reflective questions, such as:
What are your current goals or dreams?
What’s something that’s been on your mind recently?
What keeps you up at night?
If you’re not sure where to start, you can use this article from the Gottman Institution: The Sound Relationship House: Build Love Maps
4. Get Outside and Enjoy Nature
Spending time outdoors has numerous mental and physical health benefits. It’s also a great way to spend time with your partner without the distractions of technology. Even with the cold outside, there are still some local winter activities you can enjoy together. Consider skiing/snowshoeing at the Green Woodlands Foundation (where you can warm up with hot chocolate after), walking to Rainbow Falls in Plymouth, or ice fishing.
5. Ask you Partner How They Feel Most Loved
Understanding how your partner feels most loved is an important aspect of deepening your emotional connection. People express and receive love in different ways. For some people, they really value physical connection through cuddling, holding hands, etc. For others, they really appreciate having a night off from chores and taking care of kids. Ask your partner when they feel most loved, and make it your goal to do something special for them in the next few weeks. Showing love, support, and empathy can help meet their emotional needs and strengthen your relationship.
6. Schedule an Appointment with Growing Roots
If you feel that reconnecting with your partner seems difficult or if there’s unresolved tension in your relationship, it might be time to consider professional support. Scheduling an appointment with one of our couples' therapists can provide you both with the tools and guidance you need to navigate any challenges. At Growing Roots, we help couples develop strategies for managing conflict, deepening communication, and strengthening emotional intimacy. If you’re struggling to connect or find yourselves constantly at odds, a therapist can offer you a safe space to work through issues and rediscover your connection.
