Navigating Grief: How People Cope and How Loved Ones Can Offer Support

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Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience that follows loss. Whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or another major life change, the emotional and psychological impact can be profound. Understanding how people cope with grief and how to support someone who is grieving can make a significant difference in their healing process. Here's a closer look at how people navigate grief and ways loved ones can provide meaningful support.

How People Deal with Grief

1. Emotional Expression: Grief often brings a whirlwind of emotions—sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion, among others. People might express these emotions through crying, talking, or even silence. Some find solace in writing or creative outlets.

2. Seeking Solitude: Some individuals need time alone to process their emotions and reflect. This solitude can be a crucial part of their grieving process, allowing them to come to terms with their loss in their own time and space.

3. Connecting with Others: Others might seek comfort in social connections. Sharing memories, talking about their feelings, or simply being with friends and family can provide a sense of support and normalcy.

4. Engaging in Rituals: Many people find comfort in rituals or traditions that honor the deceased or mark the significance of their loss. This could include memorial services, creating personal tributes, or participating in cultural or religious practices.

5. Finding Distractions: Engaging in activities or hobbies might help some people manage their grief. Distractions can provide temporary relief and a break from the intensity of their emotions.

6. Seeking Professional Help: Therapy or counseling can be invaluable for those struggling with complicated grief or who need additional support to navigate their feelings. Mental health professionals can offer coping strategies and a safe space to process emotions.

How Loved Ones Can Support Someone Who Is Grieving

1. Be Present: Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is simply be there. Your presence, whether through listening or just being with them, can provide comfort and reassurance. Avoid the urge to offer solutions or platitudes; sometimes, just being present is enough.

2. Offer Practical Help: Grieving can be exhausting, and daily tasks might feel overwhelming. Offer to help with practical matters like cooking, cleaning, or running errands. Small gestures of assistance can make a big difference.

3. Respect Their Process: Everyone grieves differently. Avoid imposing your own expectations on how they should be handling their grief. Respect their individual process, whether they need time alone, seek social support, or engage in specific rituals.

4. Provide a Listening Ear: Encourage them to talk about their feelings, memories, and thoughts if they want to. Listen without judgment or interruption. Sometimes, people need to talk things out to make sense of their emotions.

5. Check In Regularly: Grief doesn't follow a set timeline, and the intensity of emotions can ebb and flow. Continue to check in on them, even after the initial wave of support has subsided. Long-term support can be as crucial as immediate help.

6. Be Patient and Understanding: Grieving can be a long and unpredictable journey. Be patient and understand that their mood or behavior might fluctuate. Offer compassion and reassurance, acknowledging that their healing process is unique.

7. Encourage Professional Support if Needed: If you notice signs of prolonged or complicated grief, gently suggest seeking professional help. Therapy or counseling can provide additional support and coping mechanisms.

8. Honor Their Loss: Find ways to honor the memory of the person or thing they've lost. This could include participating in memorial activities, sharing stories, or simply acknowledging anniversaries and significant dates.

9. Respect Boundaries: While it's important to offer support, also be mindful of their need for space. Respect their boundaries and avoid pushing them to open up or participate in activities they're not ready for.

Books About Grief

1. Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown

2. On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler

3. I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye by Brook Noel

4. It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine

5.The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

6.Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread that Connects Us Through Life and Death by Dawn DiRaimondo, Psy.D

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to navigating it. Understanding and respecting how someone processes their grief, coupled with thoughtful support from loved ones, can make a significant difference in their healing journey. By offering a combination of presence, practical help, and emotional support, you can help someone feel less alone during one of the most challenging times in their life.

The Power of Reiki: A Journey into Japanese Healing and Energy Balance

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This week’s blog post was written by Ruth Levesque, our Medical/Administrative Assistant. Ruth is a certified Reiki Master and Clinical Herbalist. We are so excited that she’s chosen to share her knowledge with us. Read on to learn all about the power of Reiki!

Reiki (pronounced ray-key) is a Japanese healing method that helps to reduce stress and encourages relaxation.  The name combines two Japanese words- Rei and Ki.  Rei means universal energy. Ki is life energy. This is the same as Chi in Chinese or Prana in Sanskrit.  It describes the energy that is in all living things.  When Ki is low or if the flow of life energy is restricted, you are more likely to get sick.  When Ki is high or flowing freely, you are less likely to get sick.  Ki flows in the body through energy pathways called chakras or meridians.  It also flows around us in a field of energy called the aura. When negative thoughts or feelings get lodged in the subconscious mind, Ki is disrupted or blocked. Reiki helps to heal and release the blocks in the energy centers, allowing Ki to flow more freely.

Usui Mikao is thought of as the creator of Reiki, though it has been discovered that there were at least 4 other types of Reiki being practiced in Japan beforehand. In March 1922, Usui Mikao had a mystical experience on Mt Kurama in which he was given the Reiki energy.  Later, he developed his style of Reiki, which he called Usui Reiki Ryoho. He began using Reiki to help the poor in Kyoto and then started a healing society and Reiki clinic where he gave treatments and taught classes. Hawaya Takata is credited with bringing Usui Reiki to the west. She sought out Reiki healing while in Japan for gallstones, appendicitis, asthma, and a tumor.  With many Reiki sessions, her ailments were healed. Then, she began her Reiki training and became a Reiki Master. She returnd to her home in Hawaii in 1937 and began performing and teaching Reiki in America. Today, there are more than 30 types of Reiki being practiced.

The Original Reiki Ideals:

The secret art of inviting happiness

The miraculous medicine of all diseases

Just for today, do not be angry

Do not worry and be filled with gratitude

Devote yourself to your work and be kind to people

Every morning and evening join your hands in prayer,

Pray these words to your heart,

And chant these words with your mouth

Usui Reiki Treatment for the improvement of body and mind

Usui Mikao

During a Reiki session, the practitioner places their hands gently on different parts of the client's body to direct the healing energy. The client is usually lying on a massage table, but treatments can also be given while the client is seated or standing. Reiki can also be sent to someone who is not physically in the same space as the Reiki practitioner. During a Reiki session, the client remains fully clothed. Treatment sessions typically last 30–60 minutes. One of the unique aspects of Reiki is that touch is not required for healing to occur. During the session, the practitioner acts as a conduit for the healing energy, meaning they allow the energy to flow through them into the client. The practitioner doesn’t have special powers, but has taken a Reiki class and received an attunement. During the attunement process, the practitioner receives the ability to channel Reiki healing energy. There are different levels of training that a Reiki practitioner can receive, and are able to provide a Reiki healing session after Level I training. The offered trainings are Level 1, Level 2, Reiki Master and Reiki Master Teacher. Training can vary from teacher to teacher, but are typically at least 8 hours each.  The cost of the training is also dependent on the teacher. I have been trained as an Usui Reiki Master.

Reiki can never cause harm. It knows exactly what the client needs. Energy naturally goes where it is needed. All the client needs to do is remain calm and relaxed. Since the practitioner is simply a channel for energy, there is no danger of them “taking on” the energy of the client or having their energy depleted. Providing a Reiki session is beneficial to the practitioner, helping increase their energy and feelings of well-being. During a session, the client may feel hot, cold, see colors, become tearful, experience a sense of relaxation or peace, and they might even fall asleep. People will often feel “lighter” after the session. As a person’s vibration rises during a Reiki session, it is possible that toxins will be released. This is not worrisome because the body will filter the toxins, but it can result in headache, stomachache, or fatigue. If this happens, it is important to drink plenty of water, eat lighter meals and get more rest. If these symptoms occur, they should be brief and are a positive sign that healing/ release is happening. Reiki is safe for pregnant women and babies, as well as animals and plants.

Reiki is a wonderful complement to traditional medical treatment. For serious injuries or ailments, it is recommended to also seek more traditional medical care. Reiki sessions are now being offered in many hospitals. Reiki can help improve the results of any treatment and decrease any negative side effects of medications or treatments. It shortens healing time, decreases or eliminates pain, and reduces stress. It will not interfere with more traditional treatments. It can be very effective in treating conditions such as headache, sprains,strains or sports injuries, insomnia, decreased appetite, nausea. It can help boost confidence, provide a sense of overall well being, and increase creativity. It can also be a wonderful tool in end of life care. Reiki has had a positive effect on all forms of illness and negative conditions. Stress reduction with some improvement in physical and psychological condition are what most people who receive Reiki experience.  

To find a qualified Reiki practitioner or teacher, https://holisticnh.org/ is a great website/ tool.  It also provides resources to find any type of holistic healing in NH.

Common misconceptions: 

• It’s Just a Placebo

• Reiki is religious

• You have to feel it to work

• Reiki is only beneficial if you are unwell

• Practitioners are all the same

• Reiki is complicated New Age stuff

• Reiki can cure anything

Why I decided to become a Reiki practitioner:

I have always been interested in holistic healing and care of the whole person. I think it is important to address not only disease/ illness, but also the underlying causes of these. When I first became certified, I had been a nurse for a few years and was quickly becoming frustrated with the traditional medical model.  I did not find that medications were always the answer for people. I am an anxious person and found that Reiki was a great tool for decreasing my anxiety. I had a friend who taught Reiki, and thought “Why not?” I love the idea that you can meet people where they are at during a session and there is flexibility. You don’t need any equipment, the person receiving the treatment can decide if they want to be touched or not, they can sit, stand, or lay down, it can be a short 5 minute treatment, and above all, it can never harm someone.

Preparing for Back to School: Tips for Mental Health and Smooth Transitions

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As the back to school season approaches, a lot of emotions can arise for students, families, and teachers. Excitement, anxiety, anger, and uncertainty often mix as routines shift and the new school year begins. Navigating this transition smoothly requires attention to mental health and well-being. Here are some practical tips to help everyone involved manage the change with ease:

Establish Healthy Routines

Before school starts, set up consistent routines at home. Establish regular bedtimes, wake-up times, and meal schedules to create a sense of stability. Limiting screen time and encouraging physical activity can also contribute to a smoother transition. These routines help kids feel more secure and prepared as they head back to school.

Validate Feelings and Listen

It's crucial to listen to your child's thoughts and feelings about returning to school. Simply telling them "don't worry" may inadvertently increase their anxiety. Instead, acknowledge their emotions and provide a supportive space for them to express themselves. This validation helps children feel understood and supported.

Manage Your Own Stress

Parents and caregivers, it's important to check in with your own stress levels. Remember, the first day of school doesn’t need to be perfect. Being calm and composed sets a positive example for your child and helps reduce their anxiety about the transition.

Blend Fun with Back-to-School Preparations

Make the transition from summer to school less abrupt by incorporating enjoyable activities into your routine. Plan a family outing—whether it's a trip to the lake, hiking, a movie night, or camping—to create positive associations with the new season and ease any tension surrounding the change.

Communicate and Plan Together

During the first few weeks of school, keep the lines of communication open. Ask your child about their experiences and listen attentively. Rather than trying to "fix" every issue, work together to find solutions and support them in addressing any challenges they may face

Prepare and Reduce Uncertainty

To minimize anxiety, help your child feel prepared for school. If this is their first time at this school: participate in test runs, attend open houses, or visit school community events before the school year begins. Familiarizing your child with their new environment and routine can reduce feelings of uncertainty. 

Update School Counselors

If there have been any changes in your child’s social, family, emotional, or behavioral circumstances, update the school counselors. Providing them with current information ensures they can offer appropriate support and resources throughout the school year.

By focusing on these strategies, you can help ease the transition back to school for both your child and your family. Remember, preparing for back-to-school is not just about logistics but also about fostering emotional well-being and creating a supportive environment for everyone involved.

If you’re interested in signing your child up for therapy — or having some support for yourself during the school year — reach out to our office to see how our availability aligns with your schedule.